the number “30”

because you chose to sacrifice what we had, for what you felt was of more significance to you. now you’ve gotten a step closer to your goal but in the process, you’ve lost something that once used to be a part of your life.

i want to be happy for you, more than saying congrats when you told me that piece of good news. but why does my heart feel so pain after i texted you that? i did say that im part of the process but never gonna be able to share in the outcome, didnt I.

i dont want to owe you anything. just like how you lose my spare spectacles and I can never get it back. once you let go of me, you’re giving others a chance to pursuit after me. i want to have the happiness i deserve. i want to smile with my heart, and exude it on the outside. 

once upon a time, 40 months ago, we were together but it all ended on 38.5 months. was there a proper closure? i guess not. but there’s nothing much to hide because he didnt even put a single pic of us together as his profile pic in any social media. so even if he doesn’t public announce that we arent together anymore, no one will know unless they come to ask us personally. im trying my best to let go and move on. i’ll do anything to carry life on…without you. 

Que Sera, Sera. 

Advertisements

quote

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

 

– Elizabeth Kubler Ross

Thoughts.

Image

Went to Ikea yesterday, with a few friends who were nice enough to accompany me. 🙂 main agenda was to get fake flowers for my work desk so I’ll be able to stay cheerful and motivated at work. & they wanted to chicken wings and meatballs.. we ended up ordering more than we could finish! & went to anchorpoint for a while before we went to The Plains Cafe. nice ambience there. took a bus down to vivo and transferred to another bus home #longbusride

Went over to gran’s for more mooncakes…Ritz Carlton’s mooncake is good! ^^ shared with them my Home’s Favourite mao shan wang charcoal snow skin mooncake and they loved it. now they gave me a new nick “durian queen” because I love buying durian stuffs back for them. hehehe.

Been trying to run frequently the past few days… managed to run about 30-35 mins which aint that bad. On friday night, I was supposed to be tired since I had so much activity going on for the whole day but I just couldn’t fall asleep. I was so frustrated and angry that I started crying, and crying till I finally felt tired just so that I could sleep. So last night, I told myself I had to make myself tired, & I went to run so I would be able to sleep properly without having to cry myself to sleep. & I slept slightly better. Hope to be able to rest well more…

Have a great weekend everyone! 🙂

Quotes about love.

“Sometimes love means letting go when you want to hold on tighter.” ―Melissa Marr

“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, this is the problem I want to have. I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way. Let our scars fall in love.”  ―Galway Kinnell

 

credits to http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/30-quotes-that-will-make-you-rethink-what-love-means/#rh4ijJpAXvm45qek.01

Blessings by Laura Story

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the achings of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

& i feel myself building up walls around me, not willing to let anyone in.

went for service earlier on and teared during “Potter’s Hand”. it’s a beautiful song 😉 Could feel God’s presence so strongly, comforting my heart, willing my heart to settle and quieten before Him. thankful to be able to worship Him week after week…

Pastor Jeff’s really humorous. & it’s my first time hearing him preach since his ordination several months back. 🙂 

It’s sad that I will be missing out on EMU’s evangelical worship concert in church this friday night due to work. Hope those who attend will be blessed 🙂 Oh anyway, they will be coming for Sat 5pm and Sun 9pm and 11.30am services. Address: 25 Adam Road, level 3/4. Do come if you’re interested 🙂

I’m not going to settle for anything less than God’s best.