the number “30”

because you chose to sacrifice what we had, for what you felt was of more significance to you. now you’ve gotten a step closer to your goal but in the process, you’ve lost something that once used to be a part of your life.

i want to be happy for you, more than saying congrats when you told me that piece of good news. but why does my heart feel so pain after i texted you that? i did say that im part of the process but never gonna be able to share in the outcome, didnt I.

i dont want to owe you anything. just like how you lose my spare spectacles and I can never get it back. once you let go of me, you’re giving others a chance to pursuit after me. i want to have the happiness i deserve. i want to smile with my heart, and exude it on the outside. 

once upon a time, 40 months ago, we were together but it all ended on 38.5 months. was there a proper closure? i guess not. but there’s nothing much to hide because he didnt even put a single pic of us together as his profile pic in any social media. so even if he doesn’t public announce that we arent together anymore, no one will know unless they come to ask us personally. im trying my best to let go and move on. i’ll do anything to carry life on…without you. 

Que Sera, Sera. 

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