Passion or prestige?

I know I said in the previous post that I’d blog on 22nd, so pardon me for the delay in publishing this post. This will be an ultra long post, please bear with me and read till the end. For those who have been following my blog or reading it every now and then, you’ll probably know that I applied for a scholarship. & I got it.

I was actually offered a job (at a community hospital, serving the elderly as the main client grp) that came together with it. I was happy on the outside to know that I had made it. Why did I say “on the outside”? Because it isn’t easy to get a scholarship, it would look good on a resume, & I would be deemed as smart as my other cousins who were sponsored, had scholarships etc. then I could be proud of myself for achieving this much academic success…big deal since I was only a part-time student and a full-time working adult at the same time right? nahhhhhhhh. (dont be too quick to condemn me).

If I was offered this scholarship 6 mths ago, I’d probably accept it. But now that I’m done with my studies, they would backpay my education for 4 semesters. Then again, does it make sense to be bonded after getting the back pay? What if I regretted this decision? I would be stuck with the job for 2 years and I won’t give my best if I find that I don’t like the job.

While I was waiting for the outcome of the scholarship interview, I did apply for a couple of other jobs that I was interested in (child-related setting). & when I heard from the scholarship job, I was initially happy. But I questioned myself about whether I was ready to work with the elderly. After all, my experience was close to zilch and the main exposure in working with the elderly was from my short stint @ internship. I hesitated in reverting to the HR about the job offer and told her to give me a week (by 21st Jan) to reconsider about whether I can commit to the job before I accept their offer.

Which brings me to my next point.

On the very same day that I was offered the scholarship, one of the child-related jobs (at a public hospital) contacted me to arrange for a job interview on 21st Jan. I knew clearly that I wanted to work with children more than with the elderly, & I had more passion in working with children. I struggled with the issue of Prestige & Incentives vs Passion & Interest. Had to seek opinion from several friends regarding my choice too. Some advised me to take up the scholarship offer since I had already gotten it. Some told me to follow my heart and just go for the child-related job interview first before I made further decisions. It was very clear and obvious to me that I really wanted the public hospital job. so badly that I tried to reschedule the interview to an earlier date just so I could respond to the scholarship offer asap. Unfortunately, the PH was unable to grant me an earlier date so I could only go on the 21st. & it didnt help that they rescheduled my interview for a later timing. I would have less than 3 hours after the interview to revert back to the scholarship offer.

The week leading up to the interview, I kept praying and asking God to speak to me, to show me which path I should go. It was difficult to hear God’s voice when my mind was so flustered. I would constantly ponder over the upcoming job interview. “what if I reject the scholarship offer and this company doesnt offer me a job? I would end up having no jobs at all.” this was a dilemma that bothered me so much I couldnt sleep properly on the day leading to the interview. God reminded me somehow to not be anxious about life, have more faith and trust him. “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” “may he give you the desire of your heart …may the Lord grant all your requests” are just a couple of the bible verses he revealed to me.

The interview which lasted close to an hour, was one of the longest I’ve ever attended. The main interviewer asked me the standard question of whether I have applied for other jobs. I told her the truth about having a job offer that’s tied in with a scholarship. & she commented it was an attractive offer, passed me her name card and told me to contact her if I decided to accept the scholarship so she’ll know that she’s dropped one potential employee. since they had other interviews to conduct and would take 2-3 weeks to respond to me if I was accepted. I left feeling even more confused than ever. The thought of ending up with neither of the jobs made me worried sick. All I could do was pray and pray and pray on the way home. When I was standing in the bus, a van with many car decals was driving beside my bus. One of the car decals that caught my attention was “Where God guides, He provides” and that was a sign from Him to trust in where He was leading me.

While time was running out, I managed to talk to some of my good friends. Majority of them encouraged me to follow my heart and passion. felt so thankful, blessed & loved to have friends who care so much about me. I was somewhat convinced by my internship supervisor to accept the scholarship offer since I wasn’t certain that I would get the PH job. At that time, it was already 5ish in the evening. so I rang the HR person from the scholarship job. she didn’t pick up. so i tried again 5 minutes later. this time round, the person who answered the phone told me that the HR personnel was on leave. Perhaps God was trying to give me more time to think about the job offer…

10-15 minutes later, as I was about to write an email to the HR lady, the main interviewer from the PH contacted me to enquire about whether I’ve accepted the scholarship, knowing that my deadline was over. when i told her no, she offered me the job immediately and I accepted it! How can it be possible to be offered a job within 3 hours of your interview when the outcome was supposed to be made known only after 2-3 wks? it’s really God’s divine timing and intervention at work that made it possible! Thank God 😀

What would you do if you were in a similar situation as me? Would you go for prestige or your passion? it’s as good as asking you to choose between men’s approval and God’s approval. I think choosing something an area of interest which you are passionate about would be more appropriate as it would be more sustainable over the long-term since you will likely have a higher level of commitment. Prestige would eventually past. In my next blog post, I’ll be sharing some interview tips so stay tuned! Thanks for reading 🙂

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