random thoughts

Took sick leave today. I’m blogging now while waiting for the drowsy effect of the medicine to kick in.

I feel bothered by three things:

1. Some people have a narrowed thinking about something that they will try to influence you to think as negatively as them. If they insist on A then its A if you think its B they will try to “correct” your thinking so that B becomes A. Dont they understand that you have your own opinions too? If they want to think A and you want to think B, and you are ok with your own thoughts, why do you have to conform to them?

2. This also reminded me of Matthew 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” If we judge others, do we not see our own imperfections?
I personally feel that if there’s something you arent happy about someone, you should tell them directly instead of talking behind their backs. Something I tend to observe is that people who usually like to comment about the nitty gritty details of others, are themselves the ones who cannot accept feedback or criticism.

3. If we surround ourselves with negative people, we would get negative energy from them. How can we deflect such negativity if we think that they would not be open to us saying that they are negative? It can be rather draining to radiate positivism when the other party is always negative.

Is anyone feeling this way too?


Retrospective entry

Ran out of ideas for my blog post title. Doesnt matter anyway when I’m updating this blog space right?

Week 3 since I’ve started work and I’ve been feeling emotionally drained of late. Last week, I received bad news from 3 of my friends. A myriad of emotions like sadness, helplessness, worry and fear was constantly stuck on my mind whenever I wasn’t busy at work. I couldn’t talk to many people about it because it felt hard for me to externalise my thoughts. I felt there was nothing much I could do apart to offer consoling or comforting words to my friends and just keep them in my prayers…I don’t wish for this entry to be full of negativity so drop me a private message if you’d like to know what those bad news was.

Work has been pretty alright so far. My honeymoon period is nearly over soon. I’ve started to take up cases with less supervision, made several Medifund applications/renewal. I think I’ve been really blessed to have a supervisor who believes in me, trusts me and encourages me to take that step of faith though I have self-doubts about my own capabilities. I think it requires more practice and exposure. I was initially afraid to talk to the patient’s family and would often feel nervous and anxious before that. Hopefully it gets better after some time (: *think positively*

My heart breaks each time I visit the neonatal ICU/high dependency wards. I find it hard to hold back my tears sometimes but I know I’ve to be emotionally stronger otherwise it would affect the amount of help and support I can really provide to people who need me. Social work can be an emotionally draining job. Self-care is really important to keep the passion going.

Catch ya next time! Have a good weekend ahead!

A full fledged working adult

Welcome to the working world, & so they say.

Started work last monday (23/2). It’s been pretty alright so far, except for the work environment which I’ve to get used to. The size of my desk is smaller than in my previous full time job. & I think there’s lots of dust/bacteria around so my skin tends to get ultra sensitive. For the first week my eyes kept feeling dry/sore and my skin would break out in angry red patches with itch. I ended up buying anti-histamines to help curb the redness on my face. Being on the Paediatric team, I’ll have to interact with children and their family members often so I’ll be wearing a mask whenever I step into a Paeds ward. Hopefully my skin condition will improve over the next few weeks else I’d have to wear the mask all around the hospital and not just my wards. *sobs*

Time passes exceptionally fast after work. By the time I end work and get home from work, shower and have dinner it would be past 8pm; This leaves me with another 3+ hours to do what I want before I have to “force” myself to sleep. Everyday after work I’ll feel so tired and drained that I wont feel like doing anything except relaxing by watching my Korean dramas. How am I going to exercise that often if im going to feel so worn out at the end of the day? :\

& somehow I feel myself having the urge to doze off at work despite 7 hours of rest from the previous night. It’s difficult to cultivate good sleeping habits after your biological clock has been screwed up from months of late sleeping and late waking. Thankfully I’ve always managed to wake up on time in the morning without much snoozing/lazing on bed. Oh another interesting thing to share is that my work station’s at the Basement of the hospital, so I’m really near the mortuary. I was close to freaking out at first but it seems as if everyone in that office is having the most fun as compared to our other colleagues who are seated at the other levels of the office. Looking forward to more happenings in there. Heard they organise parties every once in a while too hahahaha.

This entry’s awfully shorter than the rest of my previous entries. I’m trying to get used to it too haha. I hope you guys dont mind my short entries every now and then. Hope your week’s been good!