Oktober

Convocation was on 7th October. Yes I finally graduated! Had to wait 10 months for the ceremony. How it feels? Wished I had more time to take photos with my course mates. Several close friends & my family came down to support me. Their presence means so much to me ❤

Emotionally draining month it is. Time seems to pass by even faster than it did for last month. Trying to get my momentum back at work. This month, I'm stressed out working with the medical team. there are internal processes which requires amendments and will definitely take more than 6 months to implement, judging on how "quick" the responses have been for my current portfolio. I'm not sure if I'd want to go beyond Orthopedics. Well, I probably will need more time and exposure. It's exhausting to do up funding applications and chasing for things to be done.

Sometimes I question myself if my assessment was conducted adequately, or whether I'm doing enough. My basis for rejecting people for financial assistance is related to their current lifestyle of comfort. But just how true are their accounts? Some may over declare or under declare. I need to be able to know when to act in discretion and when not to. Hoping that I wont be too jaded or desensitized. 😡

Met up with my sec sch friends to chill at Timbre last weekend, and we went to sing after that. Been so long since I last drank and I hit my threshold after 3.5 pints of Erdinger, a bottle of Asahi and 2 glasses of Vodka mixed with lemon juice. & I was feeling so tired just after the Erdinger. By the time I was done with the Vodka I literally went into a sleepy mode all the way till I reached home. If you were to ask me what my preferences were when it came to drinks, I'd rather drink wine- moscato (:

Not sure if I wanted to post this but I'm just gonna do it. Some friends have been asking me what I thought about the City Harvest trial case, or the church at its current state. I left because I didnt value superficial relationships, felt I wasn't growing spiritually and I felt called to move on to somewhere else. As simple as that.
When I left, I was having difficulties adjusting to other places. I went church hopping, couldnt bring myself to commit. Perhaps I'd developed a commitment phobe after leaving CHC. I wasnt there as long as others but 5 years is enough to cause some damage unfortunately.

I'm happier at where I am now. I'm happy with serving on the music team on a monthly basis, attending discipleship group once a week. But if you were to ask me to register for membership, I'ld really need more time to think it through. I dont want to end up having to keep transferring my membership each time I switch to another church. It took me more than 2 years to decide to join a fellowship, and 3 years to decide on joining a ministry in my current church. Will I ever go back to a megachurch? Probably just to visit but I'll never be able to commit.

My final words for this post:
"It takes someone out of the circle to understand and agree with external opinion after rationalizing the course of actions that took place. It is inevitable that humans make mistakes due to sinful nature. Light was shed, motives, intentions and purposes were questioned.

Who are we to condemn and rebuke others just because of their wrongdoings or misdeeds; Ultimately, it is the Lord who will judge us according to our deeds. What we need is a subservient heart that yields to the Lord in humility and true repentance, for He is just and faithful to forgive"

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