Restless

Im supposed to be sleeping now but my brain isnt tired. I tend to think a lot at such a timing but my thoughts are something I cant really put to words. 

I dont like the feeling as if I’ve been taken for granted. In fact, I think no one does loke experiencing such a feeling. Sometimes I wonder if I’m self-centered, or whether I’m more on the receiving end. A talk with a couple of friends during our recent gathering made me realise that I’m really standing on an unstable ground now. Nothing is considered stable unless there has been a concrete plan set ahead. I constantly find myself asking “what’s next?”, “what should I be anticipating?” if it has been nato. 

Im frustrated at my abilities to internalize my thoughts to the point i think its not worth sharing at all. Decisions. Decisions. Decisions. All the time. Quarter life crisis really is sinking in. & my BFF’s gotten married this month. I hope our friendship wont take a drastic turn from now on. Yikes. 

Okay. Its 12.25am. I really should force my eyes to shut. Goodnight to whoever is reading this. 

Xo. 

Thankfulness

It’s been really long since I last blogged. [I think I’ve been saying it almost each time I blog these days]. & probably because I didn’t give myself time to reflect on how life has been.

When I have sad and gloomy days, its the nitty gritty things to be thankful for that makes me look forward to upcoming days ahead; because I know there are always high and low seasons in life.

So recently I went on a 4D3N trip with my mother to Bangkok in the middle of June. Had a bad case of diarrhoea on day 3 and 4 which nearly ruined the rest of my trip. Thankful for a safe trip throughout.

Last weekend was a staycation at Studio M with my bff and the rest of the bridesmaid gang. we held a celebration for her as part of her last few weeks of singledom since she’s getting married on 16.7.16 muahahaha. Brunch at food for thought, KTV, dinner and bachelorette’s forfeit (go to a table at a bar and get them to congratulate her on getting married soon)  and champagne plus cup noodles for supper, brunch the next day and trampoline park, chilling at macs before we called it a day in the late noon.

received a news this week that we would be receiving our salary adjustments and annual increments. though its not much but still thankful to have such entitlements when the economy is not doing well. unsure of how stable my position is for now since its 7 months more before the end of my contract. there’s somehow a sense of uncertainty in what I should be expecting next and I constantly ask “What should I be doing after this Lord?”

Honestly, I have many things to consider with regards to future planning and at this stage in my life, I don’t know what I should look forward to exactly. I’m just living day by day as it is and not having a specific plan scares me a lot more than I’m expressing it out. I tend to be a worry ward at times and need assurance from others. Trying my best not to worry so much or think so much about things that have not happened yet.

Thanks for being so patient in reading my post. (: